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What are some effective ways to make friends as an adult?
First, try leveraging your existing network. Even if you don't have many or any friends whom you regularly talk to these days, chances are you still have a number of old connections that you haven't talked to in some time. So don't be afraid to reach out, give them a call or send a message through text or social media. If they don't answer you, you're no worse off than you were before trying to reach out and if they do, you've got a whole new opportunity to connect. Along these same lines, if you do have a spouse or a significant other, ask if they have any old friends that you could reach out to together.
Next up, consider trying something more structured in nature. In a recent study, sociologists collected data from 91 countries representing 2/3 of the world's population, they concluded that Denmark is home to the happiest people in the world. Why is this? It might have something to do with the fact that 92% of Danes are members of some sort of group ranging from sports to cultural interests. To avoid loneliness, we have to seek active social lives, maintain friendships, and enjoy stable relationships. With this in mind then, you could participate in adult classes to try to learn something that you've never had time to before.
Along these lines, if you've got kids, coming up with structured activities for them and their friends will allow you to meet some of their friends' parents. You might even find a few that you would like to talk with further.
Some final other options here would be taking an opportunity to travel, volunteering, or using a service like the app and website, Meetup. Yes, many of these suggestions do seem like a considerable amount of work, and they are, but here's the thing, having a large and robust network of good friends makes the work and the occasional awkwardness of meeting new people worth it.
So there are some ideas on how to grow your real-life social network and make new friends but once you've done this, the question then becomes how do you keep them?
First off is a point that seems obvious but it is worth mentioning, be kind.
Nobody likes a person who's mean-spirited. Resonating with other people is less about you and more about focusing on them. In other words, don't try to be interesting, try to be interested. Being likeable can be as easy as listening to people and asking them to tell you more.
Also, consider giving meaningful gifts to those people you care about and performing random acts of kindness to show that you're thoughtful. Be selfless in trying to give more than you receive without, of course, burning yourself out.
Next up is to be vulnerable without going overboard and sharing your entire
life story all at once. Do try to open up to other people, no strong friendship was ever founded on just talking about the weather.
So be yourself, be honest about who you are, be vulnerable with your emotions without being dramatic, and don't be ashamed of your own interests. You must like yourself and be confident in yourself first or you'll project negative energy to other people.
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